What if one of the most powerful ways to revive passion in your relationship has been right at your fingertips all along?

In this episode of Sex Worth Having, Clare sits down with body therapist, sexologist, and host of The Brilliant Body Podcast, Ali Mezey, to explore the intelligence of touch and why so many long-term couples are missing one of the greatest opportunities for creating connection, novelty, and desire.

Many men only learn to touch a small portion of their partner's body during intimacy. Ali explains why slowing down, becoming more curious, and exploring the other 90% of the body can help your partner feel seen, safe, and deeply cared for while creating the kind of anticipation that keeps desire alive.

We also discuss why non-sexual touch is often the foundation for better sex, how to communicate through your hands instead of your agenda, and why middle age may actually be the perfect time to discover a richer, more connected way of making love.

Whether you've been married for 20 years or simply want to become a more confident, intuitive lover, this conversation will change the way you think about touch, pleasure, and intimacy.

What You'll Learn:

• Why touch is a conversation, not a performance
• How curiosity creates more connection than technique
• Why exploring the whole body increases novelty and arousal
• The difference between touch with an agenda and touch that builds safety
• A simple practice you can try this week to deepen intimacy with your partner

Ali Mezey's Website:

https://www.alimezey.com/

Ali Mezey's Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-brilliant-body-podcast-with-ali-mezey/id1720039607

Sex Worth Having, Episode 3: How Do You Ask for What You Want in Bed? with Betty Martin: https://feeds.podetize.com/ep/t9ylx0gKB/media

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You'll learn:

• Why pleasure can only happen in the present moment
• How familiarity causes us to stop noticing our partner
• Why attention is one of the most attractive gifts you can offer
• How mindfulness helps keep erotic energy alive
• Why mindfulness may be the opposite of taking your partner for granted
• A simple experiment to help you reconnect with curiosity, desire, and pleasure

If you've ever felt like your relationship has become routine, this episode offers a practical way to bring more presence, connection, and aliveness back into your partnership.

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Resources & Links

Mentioned in This Episode

• The Raisin Mindfulness Exercise
• Episode 13: The Need to Feel Wanted

Sex Worth Having Website

Book a Free 30-Minute Desire Diagnostic Call with Clare

But what if kink has less to do with whips, chains, or dungeons and more to do with communication, trust, curiosity, and connection?

In this episode, intimacy coach Faith Laux joins Clare to explore what kink really is and why so many people are curious about it. They discuss how healthy kink relies on clear communication, strong boundaries, consent, and self-awareness, and how these skills can strengthen any relationship, whether you're interested in kink or not.

You'll learn why novelty matters in long-term relationships, how to talk with a partner about fantasies or desires, why self-acceptance is the first step toward vulnerability, and how expressing both your yes and your no can build deeper trust.

If you're looking for ways to bring more honesty, playfulness, and connection into your relationship, this conversation offers practical insights that extend far beyond the bedroom.

In this episode you'll discover:

• Why kink is often misunderstood

• How novelty and curiosity help keep desire alive

• A simple approach to discussing fantasies with a partner

• Why boundaries create safety, trust, and intimacy

• What every couple can learn from the communication skills practiced in healthy kink communities

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Resources & Links

Kink Curious Website:

https://www.faithlaux.com/kinkcurious1

Kink Curious Waitlist:

https://links.ivorey.io/widget/form/coYxJvfvPEIcFH6mEHE6

10% off Code for Kink Curious (if you miss the early bird deadline): Sex Worth Having

Sex Worth Having Website

Book a Free 30-Minute Desire Diagnostic Call with Clare

You'll learn:

• Why love and desire are not the same thing
• How couples unintentionally drift from lovers to roommates
• Why "evidence of desire" matters more than most people realize
• How resentment can quietly block attraction and connection
• A simple question that can help you understand what makes your partner feel wanted

If you want more intimacy, passion, and connection in your relationship, this episode will help you understand why feeling wanted remains essential at every stage of love.

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Resources & Links

https://youtu.be/-qgpewMCVjs?si=RerjC8DCX8xlnmdE - Cheap Trick performing I Want You to Want Me

https://cheftova.substack.com/ - article by Tova on Substack demonstrating the difference between feeling cared for vs wanted

Sex Worth Having Website

Book a Free 30-Minute Desire Diagnostic Call with Clare

In this episode of Sex Worth Having, Clare explores the hidden anxiety, shame, and nervous system patterns behind early ejaculation—and why so many successful men silently struggle with it. Instead of focusing on numbing creams, distraction tricks, or performance hacks, this conversation takes a different approach: slowing down, becoming more present, and learning how to regulate arousal through awareness and full-body connection.

You’ll learn:

• why anxiety and hypervigilance often make early ejaculation worse
• how the body becomes conditioned for speed instead of regulation
• why mindfulness and presence-based approaches are gaining research support
• how slowing down changes both arousal and connection
• what it means to expand pleasure beyond just the genitals
• and why many men regain control by becoming more connected to their bodies—not less

This episode is about much more than “lasting longer.”

It’s about helping men stop dreading intimacy and start feeling calm, connected, and confident during sex again.

Download the Free 10-Minute Guided Pre-Intimacy Meditation: https://www.sexworthhaving.com/pl/2148759033

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You’ll learn:

• the difference between perimenopause and menopause
• why stress and cortisol directly affect desire
• how changing estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone levels impact the body
• why responsive desire becomes even more important during midlife
• how menopause affects sleep, anxiety, vaginal tissue, orgasm, and nervous system regulation
• why many women feel dismissed by the medical system
• and how couples can adapt their intimacy instead of turning against each other

This episode is not about blaming or “fixing” your partner. It’s about understanding what may really be happening in her body… so you can approach this chapter with more compassion, teamwork, and connection.

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Here are the treatments by MD's who specialize in Menopause;

• Listed Resource and Links: Dr. Lauren Streicher: https://substack.com/@DrStreicher
• Dr. Kelly Casperson: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-are-not-broken/id1495710329
• Dr. Mary Claire Haver: https://drmaryclairehaver.substack.com/
• Dr. Rachel Rubin: https://drmaryclairehaver.substack.com/
• Dr. Amy Killen: https://dramybkillen.substack.com/
• Dr. Sarah Szal: https://saraszalmd.substack.com/
• The Menopause Society: https://menopause.org/
• Book a Desire Diagnostic Call with Clare: https://www.sexworthhaving.com/pl/2148759033

Ariel Szabo's website:

https://www.sacredmoonflower.com/begin

Ariel Szabo's Substack:

https://theeroticfrontier.substack.com/

Sex Worth Having website:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/

Book Free 30-minute Desire Diagnostic Call with Clare:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/desire-diagnostic-call

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In this episode of Sex Worth Having, Clare sits down with sex and relationship coach Brandon the Dom to explore how power dynamics, when grounded in consent and care, can bring new energy, polarity, and excitement into long-term relationships.

You’ll learn:

• the difference between dominance and domineering
• why many men suppress their desire to lead
• how “setting the container” helps a partner feel safe enough to let go
• why aftercare is one of the most important parts of intimacy
• and how exploring new dynamics can help couples break out of predictable sexual patterns

This conversation is not about performance or becoming someone you’re not.

It’s about learning how presence, communication, and erotic leadership can create more aliveness, trust, and connection in the bedroom and beyond.

Brandon’s Website:

https://www.brandonthedom.com/

Developing Dominance Online Class:

https://www.brandonthedom.com/developing-dominance

Brandon’s YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@BrandonTheDom

Sex Worth Having website:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/

Book Free 30-minute Desire Diagnostic Call:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/desire-diagnostic-call

Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, & share!

Visit website:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/

Book Free 30-minute Desire Diagnostic Call:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/desire-diagnostic-call

Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, & share!

It’s time to discover the power of slowing down. This shift begins when someone chooses to lead—and that someone is you. Slowing down isn’t just about movement; it’s about pacing and presence. It creates space for your partner to move from guarded and tense to open and responsive. Slow isn’t boring—slow is sexy. It allows sensation to build, deepens connection, and creates more meaningful intimacy.

Learn the essential mindset shifts and simple practices—like hand-on-heart breathing and Qigong—that give you the capacity to slow down, attune to your partner, and become the confident, intuitive lover they dream about.

Visit website:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/

Book Free 30-minute Desire Diagnostic Call:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/desire-diagnostic-call

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In this episode of Sex Worth Having, Clare introduces nurturing touch as a powerful way to rebuild connection, reduce pressure, and help your partner’s body relax again.

You’ll learn why touch that doesn’t lead to sex can actually restore desire, how to break the cycle of pressure and rejection, and simple ways to reconnect through presence, attunement, and slow, intentional touch.

This is a grounded, practical approach to intimacy that helps your partner feel safe, seen, and open again—without needing perfect technique.

Listen to the full episode to learn how to reconnect without pressure and bring intimacy back in a way that feels natural and sustainable.

Visit website:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/

Book Free 30-minute Desire Diagnostic Call:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/desire-diagnostic-call

Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, & share!

How do you bring playfulness into the bedroom—especially if it’s never been there? If sex has started to feel routine, serious, or pressured, you’re not alone. Many couples lose the sense of fun and curiosity that keeps intimacy alive. In this episode of Sex Worth Having, Clare talks with Eros and Trisha, founders of LitUp, about how playfulness, safety, and slowing down can transform connection and desire in long-term relationships. Listen to discover simple ways to bring more fun, ease, and connection back into your love life.

Visit https://www.litup.love/. Use code “clare” at check out to get a free fluff puff with your order. If you sign up for their mailing list you also get 10% off your order.

Date Night Ideas and Spark Playbook:

https://www.litup.love/pages/date-night-ideas

Visit Trisha & Eros's Company:

LitUp.love

Follow on IG:

@litup_love

Great Reel on using humor to build connection:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/

Visit Sex Worth Having Website:

Sex Worth Having

Book a Desire Diagnostic Call with Clare:

Calendly

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If intimacy has started to feel predictable—or like you’re both going through the motions—you’re not alone.

Most couples were never taught that there are many different ways to connect sexually. Over time, relying on the same pattern can lead to boredom, pressure, or even quiet disconnection.

In this episode of Sex Worth Having, Clare introduces the concept of “flavors of sexuality”—five different ways of connecting that bring variety, emotional depth, and renewed energy back into intimacy.

When you expand your range as a lover, something shifts. Pressure drops, curiosity returns, and desire has space to come alive again.

Listen to discover five simple ways to bring variety, playfulness, and connection back into your relationship.

Visit website:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/

Book Free 30-minute Desire Diagnostic Call:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/desire-diagnostic-call

Products to add more playfulness to your intimacy:

https://www.litup.love/

Use code Clare , and receive a free Fluff Puff with your order

Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, & share!

Most couples struggle to talk about touch. One partner may wish the other would be clearer, while the other feels unsure, awkward, or afraid of getting it wrong.

In this episode of Sex Worth Having, Clare sits down with Dr. Betty Martin, creator of the Wheel of Consent and the Three-Minute Game—a simple but powerful practice that helps couples communicate clearly about touch, boundaries, and pleasure.

When you understand who touch is for and learn how to ask for what you want, intimacy becomes less confusing and more connected, honest, and satisfying.

Listen to discover how to stop guessing, start asking, and create a new level of connection in your relationship.

Dr. Betty Martin – Wheel of Consent resources

https://www.wheelofconsent.org

Book: The Art of Receiving and Giving – Dr. Betty Martin

Visit Website:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/

Download free 10-Minute Pre-Intimacy Guided Meditation:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/opt-in

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What if the most powerful thing you could bring to the bedroom isn’t a new move—but your full attention?

Learning how to be better in bed isn’t about mastering techniques or memorizing moves. What most partners respond to is attention, presence, and the feeling of being truly seen and felt. When you slow down and bring your awareness into the moment, intimacy becomes more responsive, connected, and alive.

In this episode, you’ll learn how a simple presence practice can transform the way you touch, listen, and connect with your partner—and why this may be the most important skill in creating sex worth having.

Visit website:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/

Download Free Pre-Intimacy 10-Minute Guided Meditation:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/opt-in

Products to add more playfulness to your intimacy:

https://www.litup.love/

Use code Clare , and receive a free Fluff Puff with your order

Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, & share!

So when she’s not “in the mood,” it can feel confusing… or even like rejection.

In this episode of Sex Worth Having, Clare introduces the concept of responsive desire—a natural pathway into sexual interest that many women, especially in midlife, experience.

When you understand how desire actually works, everything begins to shift. You stop chasing sex and start creating the conditions where it can naturally emerge.

Listen to learn the five simple steps that help intimacy deepen and desire return.

Visit Website:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/

Book a Free 30-Minute Desire Diagnostic Call:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/desire-diagnostic-call

Download the Free 10-Minute Guided Meditation by Clare:

https://www.sexworthhaving.com/opt-in

Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, & share!

Great sex isn’t about performance.

It’s about presence, attunement, and knowing how to meet your partner’s changing body and desire — especially in midlife and menopause.

Hosted by Clare Sente, Sex Worth Having is a podcast for men who care deeply about being good partners and want sex that feels connected, meaningful, and passionate for both of you.

Inside, we explore:

• Why what used to work may not work anymore
• How menopause, stress, and life affect desire
• How presence and pleasure-focused connection rebuild trust and attraction
• What many women wish their partners understood about their bodies and needs

This podcast is like getting the playbook you were never given for becoming a confident, intuitive lover.

New episodes every Tuesday.

Subscribe or follow now.

Slow down. Stay present.

Sex worth having, starts with you.